Not even a "Good afternoon." All he said to me was, “What type of phone do you have?” I looked over at the young man, kept a straight face, and told him to leave me alone. He approached another man who was a few feet away from me and asked the same question. That man also brushed him off. We were in an aisle at Walmart, going about our business. The young man was an in-store salesperson. The other shopper and I exchanged looks, and he made a comment about the way the salesman approached us.
Sadly, in this day and age, many young people don’t understand the language of etiquette. One cannot work in sales and have a billy-goat-gruff approach to strangers. That’s not good business. There’s no way anyone would want to engage him in conversation.
At the end of the day, I wonder how much he actually sells—daily, weekly, or in relation to whatever goals he’s expected to meet. If he had approached me correctly, he would’ve been surprised to learn that, unlike many in the younger generation, I’m not fascinated by technology. My last cell phone lasted almost eight years before it crashed a few months ago, forcing me to replace it. (I’m still learning how to operate my new phone, which I’ve had for four months now. So why would I want to change it and get a new one at this stage?)
We live in a digital world where people no longer communicate verbally. It’s everywhere—at restaurants, people sit together but are glued to their phones. Shoppers walk around while scrolling through their phones. And, of course, some even drive while distracted by their devices, putting others at risk.
Back to the young man in the store—let's assume he was in his early 20s. It didn’t occur to him to first greet the person he was trying to talk to. If he had said, “Good afternoon,” my response might have been different. When I was his age, living in Nigeria (and later in the Caribbean), you wouldn’t dare start a conversation without first greeting the person in front of you. You’d be reprimanded if you didn’t. Even when boarding a transit bus, it was expected that you offer a general greeting. Some people would respond, some wouldn’t, but at least you’d said something.
I do rideshare now, and I always make it a point to greet the riders once they’re seated. That typically sets the tone for the rest of the ride. I’ve had some very interesting conversations after starting with a simple greeting. People still appreciate a good, old-fashioned chat. We talk about everything—except politics, religion, or anything too personal.
In my younger years, I worked in corporate sales, and I used my verbal communication skills to open doors and close deals. Even if I hadn’t secured business from a prospect yet, I’d stop by for a few minutes just to say “Good morning” or “Good afternoon.” I’d tell the customer I was there to bring them good luck for the day, hoping they’d make plenty of sales. Next time I stopped by, we’d see what kind of luck my visit brought them. It was random, but it kept the lines of communication open. In some cases, the customer eventually decided to try the services of the company I represented. (Thinking outside the box helps in business.)
I wear two wristwatches, one on each wrist, and I do it intentionally. The short answer is, it’s just my style. The typical question I get is, “Why are you wearing two watches?” Depending on my read of the person, I respond with, “Because I have two hands” or “I just wanted an excuse to start a conversation with you.” People always laugh, and then a conversation begins.
So, for those of us who grew up in a different generation, I challenge you this Thanksgiving: when everyone is seated at the table, ask them to put away their phones and engage in an old-fashioned conversation. Share stories about your youth. If you grew up in Beltsville, tell them what life was like in the 1970s. These stories are fun to hear, and they give everyone a chance to join in.
Have a nice Thanksgiving when it comes. Eat healthy, drink healthy, and stay active. This year, I won’t be able to indulge like I used to since I’ve had to make a lifestyle change with my diet. I’m still struggling to adapt, drinking more water and tea. By the time you read this, it will have been almost a month since I last had a cup of coffee. Have a great month!
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